I was planning on writing about the science behind the positive effects of gratitude today, in light of Thanksgiving. Something chipper and cheery.
Life doesn't always go to plan, eh?
Yesterday I was happily riding my bike, in jeans. Yeah!
Today, after ill-advised intercourse, even after sitting on ice packs I still hurt. I am kicking myself. It is so hard to take care of two tiny spots on my vestibule that are saying "No thank you!" When the rest of my body is screaming "HELL YEAH!!!!!"
I am right smack dab where my husband was a couple of weeks ago. I know intellectually that catastrophizing starts a domino effect, releasing stress hormones that make things worse. I know this flare doesn't mean I will go back to the bad ol' days, or that my future will remotely resemble that time.
But it is hard to be accepting and positive when I am actively in pain.
My emotions have been all over the place this morning, but have landed on anger. This is bullshit!
I have been stomping around the house and listening to Katy Perry's "The One that Got Away" over and over again - something about that wailing "oh-wa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ne" feels right. Sing along with me!
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incongruous PS: Happy Thanksgiving!
no post on Friday because I will be enjoying the holiday :)